Lap Dance Treat

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking
Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club:
Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football With Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything , He's On The Darts Team
In My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again ?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy ,
You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday

Where is God??

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak

with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually..
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what
happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.

( " I just LOVE reading next line again and again " )
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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

‎"Its easy to joke on a Sardar, but It's too difficult to be a Sardar"

I read this post somewhere.. I know I should write something on my own here but just cannot resist posting this as I have always respected,liked and loved Sikhs. :)

"I was standing at jalandhar station when my attention went towards a Sikh youth standing near me wearing a Black turban having a long beard and wearing a kirpan over his shirt.

After a while, one local train arrived, which was totally packed. The Sikh youth tried to alight the train but failed to do so. Just then a voice was heard from the back coach 'Sardarji Barah Baj gaye' (Sir it's 12 o'clock!)

The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young Mischievous type of person and instead of showing any anger made a smile towards him.

The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of truth lies behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked towards him and asked why did he smile at that person who teased him.

The Sikh youth replied, 'He was not teasing me but was asking for my Help'. I was surprised with these words and he told me that there was a big history behind that which one should know. I was eager to know the History and the Sikh youth narrated:

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the Hindu people were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals treated the Hindu women as there own property and were forcing all Hindus to accept Islam and even used to kill the people if they were refusing to accept.That time, our ninth Guru, Sri Guru Teg Bahadarji came forward, in response to a request of some Kashmir Pandits to fight against all these cruel activities.

Guruji told the Mughal emperor that if he could succeed in converting him to Islam, all the Hindus would accept the same. But, if he failed, he should stop all those activities. The Mughal emperor happily agreed to that but even after lots of torture to Guruji and his fellow members he failed to convert him to Islam and Guruji along with his other four fellow members, were tortured and sacrificed their lives in Chandni Chowk. Since the Mughals were unable to convert them to Islam they were assassinated.

Thus Guruji sacrificed his life for the protection of Hindu religion.

Can anybody lay down his life and that too for the protection of another religion?
This is the reason he is still remembered as "Hind Ki Chaddar", shield of India. For the sake of whom he had sacrificed his life, none of them came forward to lift his body, fearing that they would also be assassinated.

Seeing this incident our 10th Guruji, Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru Teg Bahadarji) founder of khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves and could be easily located in thousands. At the start, the Sikhs were very few in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal emperors. At that time, Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 and looted Hindustan and was carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and nearly 2200 Hindu women along with him. The news spread like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's Kafila on the same midnight. He did so and rescued all the Hindu women and they were safely sent to their homes.

It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army although fewer in numbers but were brave hearted and attacked them at midnight, 12 O'clock and rescued women.

After that time when there occurred a similar incidence, people started to contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's at Midnight, 12 O'clock. Nowadays, these "smart people" and some Sikh enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have spread these words that at 12 O'clock, the Sikhs go out of their senses. This historic fact was the reason which made me smile over that person as I thought that his Mother or Sister would be in trouble and wants my help and was reminding me by saying off 'Sardarji Barah Baj Gaye'. "

Its a humble appeal PLEASE dont make fun of RELIGIONS as every religion is as pure as urs. !!!! :)

Joke !!

A little boy, after being shouted at by his mom (sitting sadly) Dad asked : "What happened son?" Kid : "Dad, I can't handle your wife anymore! I want my own wife!"

Life is Great.

Facebook, Orkut, LinkedIn, Twitter, Naukari, Monster, Myspace, Yahoo, Gmail.. Some of the websites I always use...

Some are social networking sites, some are personal, some are professional. The cacoethes to know the world more and more makes me to visit these sites again and again.

Few things made me nostalgic today and that's when I started thinking that how peaceful life was when I was unaware of all these.. When I dint know how to work on computer and when I dint have a phone. When my only timepass were my books, my novels and few calls on my Landline phone..

The morning walk with mom and dad, the Breakfast at home, a family get together almost every evening, peaceful sleep in the night, those dreams and the dream to full fill them, watching Tom and Jerry and Aladin every day, hours of talk with mom and sisters, exam tensions and the happiness after results... I miss these all.. I feel like singing " I wanna grow up once again" now.

Its strange to see how the life flips in couple of years. As if ye kal ki hi baat hai , we were so happy and today loaded with tension, work pressure, lack of time, self consciousness, abhorrent desires...

My quota of the patience for this life seems to be over.. Yes!! How can I think so..!! I am not even 25...!! But why does life seem to be some twisted mismanagement of destiny?? I wanted to know the world but now why do I feel that the reward of my curiosity is worse than not knowing the world or the people who stay here or the way these people think..!!

Why do we all have to grow up? Why is it more inevitable than the sun rising in the east?

Just one broken dream and it was like colour had drained from the bricks, the trees, the sky and the faces around me... Now when I try to sleep in my room, all I could do is stare at the cracks in the walls. It hurts like acid. Then I can feel the little "V" between my eyes..

Still if someone asks me, "How r u?" , I smile and say " I am fine , thank you" .

I still keep reminding myself that Life is great. Love the life and love everything about it. I smile again.. :) :) :)

Be a winner !!

"Winners don't quit and those who quit never win"